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Boys, Bitches and Hoes

Yeah, they really want you
They really want you, but I do too
I want to be the girl with the most cake
I love him so much, it just turns to hate
I fake it so real I am beyond fake
And someday you will ache like I ache
-Hole, “Doll Parts”

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Me, 5th Grade, rocking a perm

12/17/93 (10 years old)

I slow danced with Brian tonight! And I think he has a crush on me too! The slow dance was so romantic. We danced to “Ease My Troubles.”

2/15/94 

I don’t know what’s the matter with me. I’m just going so crazy about Joey. I want to say I love him, but he’ll just say, “I don’t like you.” I want to go out with him but he will be embarrassed if he went out with me because I am a complete dork to him.

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With Belle and the Beast at Disney World.

Undated.

A couple of nights ago was the dance. I slow danced with Joey five times, but I figured out that he loves Jennifer. He kissed her on the lips and held her tight.

3/7/94

I went to Stephanie’s birthday party. At night me and Joey and Stephanie watched half of The Fox and the Hound. Joey had apologized about me not going out with him. I hate him now.

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Prior to a skating recital, wearing my Mum’s awesome faux fur coat.

3/14/94

Marc told me that Sal thought I was pretty. Marc is going to ask him if he will go out with me. I hope he says yes! He’s cute with his glasses on. Plus, I need a boyfriend.

Undated

Does Bobby Like Me?

Clue 1: Christine asked me if I liked him.
Clue 2: Amanda whispered to Christine that he did like me.
Clue 3: Amanda asked me if I had a boyfriend.

He is going out with me!

3/27/94

Me and Bobby are going out. He likes me! Now I don’t feel lonely anymore! I love him. He’s cute and especially nice!

(Entry crossed out – Wrote below it: “Not anymore. We are just friends.”)

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Clockwise from top left: Me, Amanda, Bobby, and Christine. Awesome neighbors! First day of 6th grade for me.

4/21/94

A week ago was the dance. I danced with Eric five times in a row! I think he likes me. He held me wicked tight. Now I have a little crush on him. But I feel guilty because Amy really liked him and was crying. Plus Jessica was P.O.ed because she liked him too and wanted to get a chance to dance with him. But he kept asking me to slow dance and I kept on saying yes to him. I am really crushed. I love him though. I think he loves me too.

5/30/94 (11 years old)

Sal is going out with me. He’s so cute! But Amanda told everybody I was going out with him and I got embarrassed. I am quarreling with her now. I think Sal thinks that I told everybody. I hate Amanda. I really love Sal.

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My dance recital costume for “Boys From New York City.”

6/7/94

I feel so stupid. Joey asked me out. I had to say yes. Plus he gave me a sticker that said, “I love you.” But there’s a little problem. Actually, a big one. Jennifer dumped her boyfriend Steve to go out with Joey. I told her that I was going out with him and she was really p.o.ed. Now we are feuding. Amy asked Joey if he would dump me for Jennifer. He said no. She said to me not to keep my hopes up because he’ll dump me. I don’t believe her. I will keep my hopes up.

It’s just that we kissed and danced at Paul’s party. I didn’t know she dumped Steve for Joey. She blames me. I didn’t know!!! Andrea tried to make me feel better, but she couldn’t really. God, this is the worst day of my whole stupid life.

Jennifer is just making me feel so bad so she can go out with Joey but I tried to tell her that Joey does not like her. She kept on saying, “I have a bad life because of you Lisa.” I can’t believe me and Jen’s friendship is over because of Joey. I feel like crying my eyes out. She hates me so much! I can’t take her anymore!

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Jen, Andrea, and Me.

10/28/94

Guess who I have a crush on now? Matt. Rachel really likes him and is going out with him. I hate her now. I pretend to like her, but I don’t.

I <3 Matt!

11/26/94

Ok. I’m crazy for Matt. He is the cutest guy I’ve ever seen! He’s cute, caring, funny, nice, perfect! He’s the best! I always hang around with him. He’s going out with Allison. I hate her now. I pretend to like her.

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Christmas.

12/17/94

Guess what! I’m going out with Eric! I asked him out at the dance last night. I danced with him every dance except one.  I asked him to dance and he said ok. I had Jen ask him out for me and he said for me to ask him out myself. So I did and he said maybe. Then after 15 minutes he said yes. I danced  with him the last couple of dances  and it was working out good already.

2/11/95

Guess what dude! At the dance last night I slow danced with Ben. I asked him again, and each dance we got a little closer. Then, Melissa asked him out for me. He said yes!!! But then that bitch Tracey tried to make me jealous by holding his hand and putting her arm around him. What a hoe!!! But I think I won him back because I danced with him all the dances and she danced with another kid. I was glad. She better stay away from him or I will fight her. I wanted to kiss Ben to make her open her mouth wide in awe, but I didn’t do that because that was only the first night. The best thing I like about him is his voice. He has a sexy and deep voice.

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6th grade. This girl will fight you.