The other day my husband and I went to Smokey Bones, a BBQ restaurant chain. The atmosphere of the restaurant is what I would consider to be casual and family-friendly. Usually the staff members wear jeans and black t-shirts.
This visit there were a few waitresses floating around wearing short plaid skirts, black suspenders, and white t-shirts. I didn’t recall that being the dress code, but I could have been mistaken. There were other staff members who were still wearing the usual jeans and black t-shirts. Maybe the restaurant was undergoing a transition?
It was mid afternoon on a Saturday and there were mostly families in the restaurant. The staff seemed to be setting up an area for a child’s birthday party.
The girls in skirts seemed a little out of place. I commented on this to my husband, and he shrugged. I shrugged back. I’m not the type of person who makes a fuss over girls in short skirts. I’m not a slut-shamer and I really don’t care. But to me, it seemed that some of the girls may have felt out of place too. They appeared resigned to the outfit either because it was a new thing Smokey Bones was rolling out or they received better tips while wearing it.
I went to the ladies room before leaving the restaurant. When I came out of the stall, there was a Smokey Bones waitress in one of those plaid skirts and suspenders fixing her hair in the mirror. I washed my hands and put lipstick on in the mirror while she primped.
The waitress then sighed and took an honest look at herself.
“I look so ridiculous,” she said.
I immediately laughed. The way she said it was so funny and honest.
But then I didn’t want her to think I was laughing AT her. I honestly sympathized with her. So I tried to think of something reassuring to say like, “No… you don’t look ridiculous!” or, “Man I’ve been there… working shit jobs and having to wear stupid outfits.” But neither of those responses were really honest. Sure, I’ve worked shit jobs, but I’ve never worn a plaid skirt and suspenders to get a paycheck. Because it IS ridiculous.
I’m also not one of those “Oh sweetie!!!” girls. I hate those girls and I assumed this girl would too. (You know the ones. “Oh sweetie!!! You look gorgeous! Stop worrying so much!” Vomit.)
I AM SO AWKWARD! I thought to myself as I was washing my hands. What should I say?! Nothing entered my brain. NOTHING.
So I finished washing my hands and walked out of the ladies room, leaving her statement and my laughter hanging in the air.
I immediately felt TERRIBLE about it. As I exited the restaurant, I imagined her telling the other waitresses what a dick she ran into in the ladies room.
What I wanted to say to the Smokey Bones waitress:
- You’re hilarious.
- I wasn’t laughing at you. I was laughing because I thought you were funny.
- I would feel just as ridiculous wearing that outfit.
- If this happened 10 years ago when I was your age, I would totally be friends with you.
- I’m sorry I’m so awkward.
- You seem intelligent.
- It will get better.
Sorry, Smokey Bones waitress. You’re awesome. You don’t have to need to wear a ridiculous outfit and rack up tips to prove that.