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Day 2: Overcoming Culinary Challenges

Posted on January 6, 2015January 6, 2015 by thetypicalbroad@gmail.com

Guys… I got the BEST gift from my in-laws for Christmas: the official Thug Kitchen cookbook.

OMG! I have followed Thug Kitchen on Facebook for about a year and am so excited to finally have the cookbook. All of their recipes sound sooooo scrumptious and healthy.

This week I tried three new recipes. Two from Thug Kitchen, and one from Pinterest.

I’ve probably mentioned here earlier that I am culinarily challenged. I REALLY lack confidence in the kitchen, but I LOVE to eat good food.

I think part of my lack of confidence comes from my depression/anxiety and not believing in myself enough. I have always convinced myself that I suck at cooking, and I usually approach new recipes with a lot of anxiety. I think my belief that I suck at cooking became a self-fulfilling prophecy.

This week I realized that I don’t suck at cooking. When I actually try and stop worrying about it, I’m not bad at all.

The Thug Kitchen cookbook aptly begins with the following quote from Julia Child:

So I figured that from now forward I would approach cooking with a similar “what-the-hell” attitude. Sometimes recipes don’t come out right. Sometimes you just need more practice. WHO CARES. Don’t apologize. Ever.

The first thing I made this week was quinoa and broccoli burritos. I was expecting my husband to dislike them, because they don’t have meat and had the potential to be spicy (he can’t handle much spice). In fact, they turned out great and we both loved them.

BAM! Sticking a tab on that recipe. Here’s a link to it if you’re interested. These burritos aren’t only delicious, they’re filling as fuck (now I’m slipping into Thug Kitchen speak!).

On New Year’s Day I made spiced apple waffles, which were posted on the Thug Kitchen Facebook page (they’re not in the cookbook, FYI).

These turned out okay, but the consistency wasn’t perfect. I might have mixed them a little too much, or I didn’t cook them enough. Oh well… they were still good and worth a shot.

The third thing I made this week was Crockpot Chicken Parmesan soup, a recipe I found on Pinterest. I wanted to make this because ever since we moved back to the Boston area, my husband has made it his mission to try Chicken Parmesan from every Italian restaurant we visit or order from (those who are not from the Boston area: we have A LOT of authentic Italian restaurants and it is the best stuff on this side of the Atlantic. If you visit this area, be sure to get some amazing Italian food and pastries in the historic North End of Boston).

I made this slow cooker Chicken Parmesan soup for Greg, my sister-in-law Bailey, and her boyfriend Steve. We ate nearly the entire pot between the four of us! I think it turned out well, and the three of them seemed to think so too. This is a great recipe to prepare for a cold day, or for a day of watching football on TV with friends. You could even bring it to your Superbowl party!

What I learned this week is that you shouldn’t convince yourself that you suck at something without giving it a true shot. Also, be kind to yourself. If you don’t get it right the first time, there’s always next time!

And just for fun, here’s a picture of what I look like after dicing onions. My husband was laughing at me the entire time.

So there’s my second day! Stay tuned to 28 more days of #30DaysProud!

A Weekend to Remember… or Not

Posted on December 29, 2014December 29, 2014 by thetypicalbroad@gmail.com

I wrote this on December 17th and forgot to fucking post it. BLAHHHH. So this is from 10 days ago. Enjoy anyway.

12/17/14.

I had a fun-filled weekend!

First, I visited the guys at the Worst Episode Ever Podcast for their Christmas special, Worst Christmas Show Ever. It is the first time I’ve been on the radio and I had a great time. We drank beer, discussed our favorite and least favorite Christmas songs, Christmas movies, and traditions. Then we played $25,000 Pyramid and Family Feud.

Lesson learned: I’m not great at Family Feud. But it might be because I was feeling a bit tipsy at that point.

Other things learned:

1. This is the worst Christmas song ever and sounds like something out of a South Park parody:

And what a terrible video, Jesus Christ! Why didn’t the guy at the register just give him the shoes for free? What a douche. And the guy in line behind the kid seems as though he feels like he’s doing this kid a huge favor by buying the Christmas shoes for his dying mom. Get over yourself, man.

2. I never realized this, but “Do They Know It’s Christmas” by Band Aid is really awful. My friend Adam educated us on this fact.

They’re singing about the children around the world who don’t get to experience Christmas. Then Bono comes in and belts,

“Well tonight thank God it’s them instead of you.”

And we wondered, what the fuck is that about? Thank God it’s them? What an awful thing to say.

And Bono sings it. So I said, “Bono could afford to provide Christmas to all of Africa if he wanted. But no, he’s just going to sit back, feel bad, and do nothing. Except sing this piece of shit song.”

Seriously. Listen to this shit:

Another point I need to make: The amount of coke Boy George likely bought the day he recorded this abomination could have also went toward an awesome Christmas, Kwanzaa, whatever, for the world’s starving children.

3. Apparently there is a Christmas tradition where people make it a game to find the pickle in the Christmas tree. I don’t know where the hell it comes from, but it’s gross.

4. Rob is an asshole (Listen to the podcast and you’ll learn why). No takesies-backsies for saying that awful shit to Adam. Around Christmas, no less!

5. Bane’s favorite things:

So… that was fun. Really. We recorded for about 3 hours and 45 minutes, and it went by incredibly fast (probably because we were drinking).

My friends may be assholes, but they’re my assholes.

Check out the full podcast.

That’s essentially how it went.

Be sure to catch the next Worst Episode Ever on Saturday, January 3rd at 1:00 p.m. EST. Listen and chat live.

Second, my husband and I were invited to a Pinterest Party on Saturday evening. To be honest, I rolled my eyes when I first received the invitation. Not at the party invite, but at myself.

Because although I can be a typical broad at times, I kind of suck at being a woman.

Due to the fact that I’m essentially a dude, I recently learned that a Pinterest Party is a party where you bring a food item you found the recipe for on Pinterest.

Sounds simple enough.

But I’m not a lady. And the entire idea of MAKING SOMETHING out of THE ORDINARY for A PARTY sounded like a fucking nightmare.

I’m not going to lie. I have an anxiety disorder, and cooking stresses me out. I tend to shy away from it. I try to learn more recipes to diversify my diet, but in the end, I could truly survive eating oatmeal or an English muffin three times a day. Anything that’s easy and doesn’t require a lot of ingredients or time.

And then I see all my lady friends on Facebook post how they made such-and-such and IT WAS SO DELICIOUS AND EASY OMG!!! And I feel like the biggest asshole of a wife.

Why can’t I be a LADY.

But every time I’m in front of the stove, nothing makes sense and everything is so MESSY and I NEED TO CLEAN IT NOW. Then I ruin the recipe by not timing everything right. And the broccoli or whatever is cold when I serve the piping hot entree. And then I need to heat the broccoli up in the microwave, which automatically makes it taste like shit, and then my entree is cold.

I can’t win.

So I was dreading this party because I knew, being myself, I would only make one stupid, easy, thing. And I would feel like the unladiest of the ladies because I wasn’t creative as everyone else and all the things they brought would be super awesome and they would think I was lame.

My husband can bake, which is a lifesaver. So he planned to make a couple of pastries to bring. But then he was sick all week and didn’t want to make everyone else sick with a contaminated dish.

So I quickly whipped up the easiest thing I could possibly make that is not out of the ordinary: Spinach Artichoke Dip.

And it was fine. It was good. People told me it was good. So what the fuck is my problem?

We drank. A lot. My friend Steve makes hot buttered rum every Christmas season, and every Christmas season we get wasted off of it.

My friend Lydia labeled everyone’s cup so we wouldn’t drink out of another person’s cup. On mine she wrote, “You’re Beautiful!” It honestly made my night.

There was a meteor shower later that night and we all gathered on the back deck of my friends’ Josh and Val’s house, marveling at the meteors dashing across the sky. While drinking hot buttered rum. And being pretty loud. Luckily, Josh and Val have nice neighbors who also enjoy tossing a few back.

I yelped at every meteor I saw, pointing so my friends could see them too. They did the same.

For whatever reason, I felt more alive the more meteors I saw. I savor such rare, natural wonders.

Wicked Good Eats: 4 Ingredient Frozen Burritos

Posted on November 19, 2014November 19, 2014 by thetypicalbroad@gmail.com

I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of eating this frozen processed shit.

But it’s so easy that I inevitably grab it from the frozen section every time I go to Market Basket (my local grocery store).

Recently I found an alternative to Lean Pockets that is healthier and tastes better: 4 ingredient burritos with chicken and quinoa, from The Reluctant Entertainer.

These burritos are not only wicked good, they’re wicked easy to make!

I adjusted the recipe a little, since I don’t have a family and I’ll be the only person in the house eating these. Also, I made medium sized burritos instead of large since I tend to eat smaller meals. Feel free to double the recipe if you need to and/or make larger burritos.

For one batch, all you need are about two cups of the following:

Grilled chicken
Salsa
Canned beans (black, kidney or pinto)

Then you’ll need tortillas to wrap your burritos. I just bought a couple packs of store brand medium sized tortillas.

First thing’s first:

Pour yourself a glass of wine. You deserve it.

Then, put on the quinoa. Cook according to directions.

I used 2 cups of dry quinoa, which translates to TOO DAMN MUCH cooked quinoa:

Oh well. Supper is made for the week! Yayyyyyyyy

But seriously, I will probably use a 1/2 cup of dry quinoa next time. I went a little overboard.

Next: grill the chicken while the quinoa is simmering. In your pajamas and sans makeup. Because who gives a fuck.

Then cut the chicken into small squares. Remember to cut your chicken like someone with fingers. Pretend your hand is a claw. I sometimes make it into a fist, because I’m super clumsy and paranoid.

Then, drain the canned beans. I will usually run a little water over them as well so they have less sodium. But that’s up to you.

Once everything is ready, mix it together in a large mixing bowl.

Then, get out your tortillas and start rolling!

Finally, wrap your burritos in saran wrap and throw them in the freezer.

THAT’S IT. This batch gave me 14 burritos- almost three weeks worth of lunches!

To heat up in the microwave, simply remove the saran wrap and wrap the burrito in a paper towel. Cook 1-2 minutes per side, depending on your microwave power.

These can stay frozen up to three months, if you wish to plan that far in advance!

The best thing about these burritos? They’re delicious AND filling. Quinoa tends to be more filling than your average carb due to the fiber and iron content. I felt so much fuller after eating one of these than Lean Pockets. I didn’t even feel compelled to eat my usual snacks that I have with lunch.

I’d like to find a similar recipe for breakfast burritos. I could certainly use those for those mornings when I’m in a rush!