My good friend, whom I call Roberto, works in finance.
Back in 2005, when I was a ripe 22-year-old college student, he advised me on whether or not to get a credit card via AOL Chat (Good ol’ AOL chat).
Here was his advice. (WARNING: Explicit language ahead).
12/30/2005
Roberto: I mean, it’s usually a bad idea to get a credit card unless you know you’ll have a steady source of income in the near future
Roberto: because everyone says they’ll use it for necessities. That’s what I said when I first got a credit card, but now I’m in debt
Roberto: it’s to the point where I just don’t care anymore, and I swipe the card more than I wipe my own ass
Roberto: And honestly, there are NO good credit cards out there
Roberto: They charge a ridiculous amount of interest, and they rape you up the ass with fees
Roberto: And if you’re ever late or go above your credit line, they stick their 15-inch dick in baking soda, then shove it ALL the way up your asshole
Roberto: you’d almost be able to feel it come out of your mouth
Roberto: like, with most cards, if you have a 13.99% APY (which is the usual), when you default (violate terms of the credit card), it usually goes up somewhere between 23.99% and 27.99%
Roberto: so for every $100, you’d get charged $28 a year to carry that debt
Roberto: if you default
Roberto: BUT
Roberto: if you’re responsible
Roberto: it would only cost you about $14 per year to borrow each $100
Roberto: get what the wise man is saying?
Roberto: so let’s say you carry about $20,000 in debt
Roberto: I’d say averaging the rate of each of my cards, I probably have an APY of about 15%
Roberto: so $20,000 x .15 is… (looking for a calculator)
Roberto: yeah… so you’d pay about $3,000 per year in credit card interest
Roberto: do you know what you get in return for that credit card interest?
Roberto: NOTHING
Roberto: I could go into east Boston right now and get about 500 blow jobs for that amount